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How Can You Reduce The Pain In Your Life By At Least Half? Stop Flipping Out
So much of the agony we go through in life is avoidable. And that’s not spiritual quackery. It’s not hyperbole. It’s the practical truth. All that’s required is a modicum of practice and discipline, which I’ll get to.
But first, what I mean by agony is suffering caused by either physical or emotional pain, which covers the whole gamut. Physical pain is breaking your leg or getting a headache. Emotional pain occurs when your girlfriend breaks up with you.
In both cases, there are two kinds of pain — primary and secondary. The primary pain of having a headache is that you feel actual pain in your head and it hurts. The secondary pain is what you ADD on top of the primary pain and is emotional in nature. “This headache is never going to go away. Why does this always happen to me? My friends never get headaches. I’m so unlucky in life…” When your girlfriend breaks up with you, the primary pain comes from the sadness that you won’t be seeing her as much anymore and the feeling of rejection.
The secondary pain is when you go down the rumination rabbit hole: “Of course she broke up with me. I’m worthless. I’ll never end up with anybody because let’s face it, I’m a loser.” OR “X is the most vile, awful woman who’s ever lived. I absolutely despise her.” In other words…
